To Be A Male Submissive

I’m so glad and excited to share this shoot I did with male BDSM-model “M” and photographer Jørgen J. J. Henriksen with you. Beside of the great outcome of our day, which you can see in the photos below, there is a very beautiful story behind: A story about a young brave man who has gone through a lot from Iraq to Denmark, to find peace from war and to be himself, and not at least able to express himself as he wants to freely,  also as a big supporter of womens rights and fights.

It takes a lot of courage to share your sexuality and sexual identity with the world, as a photo model as well as a performer on camera or on stage. But if your are a man from The Middle East, being a submissive male, takes even more, since we got both hetero normative gender roles and religious issues in play, not to mention family business. Even in The West the existence and arguable prevalence of submissive men threatens the common belief in masculinity as inherently dominant in general. So I think “M” deserves A LOT of respect for this. Sexual diversity empowers equality.

To the typical ear, the word “submit” is a bad word. It conjures up images of oppressed people without freedom and without a voice and weakness. And it is still relatively hard to find a voice of the male submissive—men whose sexuality centers upon the idea of being under the control of a powerful female, sexual, in everyday life or in both, as a switch or always (sexually, in BDSM or Vanilla). So to submit to a woman in free will can sound the scariest to many men. For many women being submissive is not a choice, a woman can feel bad about it or hide in it, not taking action and just do as told and expected, feeling innocent and free from guild. So to take a dominant role as a woman, can be just as scary, as to be submissive for a man at first. But when we are conscious with consensus, both roles a very beautiful, the dominant are caring, and responsible, stepping up in control, and the submissive is set free, under care and a new upbringing, where you can even feel like a child again, being taking care of and maybe punished kindly with a whip or a spanking. You have to do your very best to please the dominant to get rewarded and be strong. With some pain added your strength can be tested and verbally admired and appreciated in a safe space in a BDSM play with a safeword.

I personally find it way more intimate to learn how to please a partner personally, so we can both do and give our best, than never really knowing what the other person thinks, though it can be very scary to speak about it as a part of the sex act, before or afterwards, as top as well as bottom, switching or not. And amazing to find, that our biological sex doesn’t matter, we create our role our self, no matter if it fits the norm or not. The conscious submissive has a new power, if the submissive doesn’t like the dominance: Game over. So a conscious sexual submissive woman, is not to be misunderstood and just fucked. It takes more, the same for the conscious submissive man.

Many men like pain in sports, and can be very surprised to find that they love it in sex too, by backscratching, being whipped ect. And many men will feel very free in submission, not being the part who decides what is going to happen.



I know Jørgen J. J. Henriksen from Manifest – Fetish Club Copenhagen as a Photographer and a very kind and professional man, who has several a years of experience with BDSM in photography and videos as well as in real life, and he also had a very good eye and ideas for this shoot in his studio. I’ve followed him on the social medias for a long time, and I love his way of capturing the best in young ladies as well as plus size women in mature ages so beautiful with different expressions, without editing his pictures very much. I even think my own unedited fat adds to my dominant expression, like: I eat as I like and I’m hot anyway, because of my self-confidence. Size doesn’t define sex appeal or beauty. And I love the whole body positive thing that is going on right now, and I’m really into supporting every positive movements of liberation.

I was contacted by “M”  who wrote that he would love to pose as a male slave/servant, and I arranged a photo session with Jørgen, who I thought would be perfect for this task  (me and “M” had been friends on facebook for quite a while at that time).

The day the shoot took place, I wasn’t sure about how I wanted to look, though I had a couple of ideas. I went for this alternative military-punk dominatrix look, instead of the more classical one wearing high heels, and leather, lacquer or latex.  I’m very happy for that choice. I think it all makes a perfect nontraditional picture, very story telling with lot of sexy stuff left to the imagination, that I’m very proud of.

This is definitely one of my favorite photo shoots, and we had such a nice day.


You can visit Jørgen J. J. Henriksen’s website right here

XOXO Kitty T

Skriv et svar