THE GOOD GIRL DELUSION

I got a statement: THE GOOD GIRL IS POLITICS ! Here in the area of Fourthwave feminism, many are aware that she is, but why is she?

It still seems that, to be a good girl or woman, is very often about not being a slut and what a man want in a wife, or how others will look at you as female person, which includes being very hard to get, not seem “easy” or “cheap” in any way, and don’t do anything wrong.

I googled “a good woman” to check up on what the international google norm is, and came across blogger Lydiana Inaris “The 10 Qualities Of A Good Woman” on the web media thoughtcatalog.com, a digital youth culture magazine where you can write articles.  I follow the very female empowering poet Nikita Gill there. So I’m sad to quote this Lydiana Inaris speaking directly to men on the same site: “Well if you want the woman you’re trying to have something long term with, you can say goodbye to sex for at least a month or two because that one and only will not let just anyone have her body.” https://thoughtcatalog.com/lydiana-inari/2014/05/the-10-qualities-of-a-good-woman/. So being a good woman is still mainly about sexual morals, love and a man? Proving that you belong to the patiarchy world order as either a Madonna or a Whore? There is not much to find on Lydiana Inaris, but her aticle will pop up, and help redefining the thought and supressing norm, that good in a female, means sexually “decent” according to old sexists norms.

In Denmark where I live and come from, we are pretty free in many ways. We were the first to legalize porn in 1969 , and we get a lot of free education. I’m very privileged, but let’s look  closer on privilege. Maslow’s hierarchy of needs is a motivational theory in psychology comprising a five-tier model of human needs, often depicted as hierarchical levels within a pyramid. Maslow stated that people are motivated to achieve certain needs and that some needs take precedence over others. Our most basic need is for physical survival, and this will be the first thing that motivates our behavior. Once that level is fulfilled the next level up is what motivates us, and so on.

 

When you as a woman are privileged with education and enough money to survive, you don’t need a man, you might just think you do from “Disney Brainwash” and your own issues, or you really want one. I’m on the self actualizing top of Maslows pyramid. And I’m enlightened about morals, especially from philosophy, because of education, so my work doesn’t make me feel amoral. I don’t have any children to provide and take care of, and my family is not controlling me. Religion and religious family laws and values with the origins of religion are not to be ignored, when it comes to  liberation. Religions of Abraham says respect your elders, just because they are you elders, as a law. But will they respect you if you go against their believes, man or woman?

Maslow (1943, 1954) stated that people are motivated to achieve certain needs and that some needs take precedence over others. Our most basic need is for physical survival, and this will be the first thing that motivates our behavior. Once that level is fulfilled the next level up is what motivates us, and so on. Politicians play a key role in keeping Muslims as disadvantaged category by neglecting poverty among the community. And some Muslims parents refuse to provide education for their female children due to fear that it will create problem of finding a suitable match for marriage. Religion and politics everywhere are connected. Therefor I believe in religion and state completely separated.

In Denmark “Girl Squad”; Twerk Queen  Louise Kjølsen, Nikita Klæstrup and Ekaterina Krarup Andersen, who wrote  “Ludermanifestet” (The Hooker Manifest) and has really open up for the danish debate on how woman are still shamed and controlled by old patriarchal norms  when they break free and the concept; Fourth-wave feminism. I think they are doing a great job on body and slut shaming, plus victim blaming, and focus on rape culture. But none of them are hookers, and they don’t show nipples, pussy or assholes, they are still Facebook and Instagram acceptable everywhere on the internet, as far as I know. And they are all resourceful and educated. It makes no sense to take that hooker word back, when your not a sexworker.  I actually think Klæstrup dress at the conservative youth party was out of place.

Minorities and sex workers and, like The Real Hookers, all over the world, face a constant bigger risk of abuse and harassment with not many places to go, as an extremely marginalized group of people (sexworkers in general), frequently forced to live outside the law, no matter if they are a street walker, victim of trafficking, a high class escort or working in a brothel, ect .”The Hooker manifest” should be written by sex workers to make sense. I love Eini Carinas work to create awareness of that issues, that the woman ain’t free until the hooker/whore are free with rights. More of that please. More focus on minorities issues and politics in general, and more help for those in need and protecting laws over moralizing laws, please. No one would be surprised to learn that sex workers and workers in the sex industry face discrimination, beatings, rape and harassment – sometimes on a daily basis – not just because of the way the choose to look in public areas, often denied access to basic health or housing services. But might be surprised that their own morals, and words used in the wrong way are blurring these problems. Victims of abuse are more likely to also suffer from poverty and health issues, and are less likely to be educated, and that abuse starts young  (Gina Jaqueline made awareness of that too).  Most of the left rad wing (I used to be an active part of) seems like Christians in their believes in “whore-savior”: Leave your life in sin, and do and eat what we say is right (sexy women are sex-objects for the man, don’t be sexy on purpose and go vegan, or else you are an evil sex-object capitalist man-pleasing whore). Thank “God” Slutwalk came along, also as a socialist initiative. And no matter the feminist differences let talk about it and be sex-subjects craving good sex and no acting fuck boys! Get deeper into politics and look at the economics part in the good girl-issue. Women experience higher rates of poverty, because they are more likely to be under-compensated, over-represented in low-wage jobs, and more likely to do underpaid caregiving work, with economics difficulties with only one income. “We’re all living in America“, where females are put into well-founded fear by still, religiously moralizing, slut and victim shaming, sexistic laws lacking protection and consequences for sex offenders and violence on women, especially when it comes to proving the crime. No booty shaking, selfies or self actualizing porn, ect. will change that.

Education is proven as the most effective way to empower women for lifelong success. Not only does education open the door to better employment opportunities, it also teaches a woman to make positive choices that will help her—and her children—live longer and healthier. But picking the right education for you and finish it are easier said than done. Psychological and financial issues gets in the way, and getting a place to live in the city, where most educations is, even in Denmark. To kill rape culture, slut and victim shaming, even the definition of sluts, we have to get into deeper politics on economics and laws and why we the whore and sexual woman is still a problem. Women are still underrepresented in Politics, where laws are made, to protect women. The legal systems all over the world, often fail to treat rape like the serious crime that it is, and silence survivors by practicing victim blaming, slut-shaming, and “rape-splaining”, just like domestic violence is often silenced or reported to late out of fear and shame.

Yes, it feels extremely overwhelming and maybe even hopeless. But remember that awareness is the first step to making change happen. Once we are able to clearly name the problems we face, we can be more strategic about how we start to solve them. I want to hear women speak more up against all these issues.

Be a good girl/woman and support your sisters and spread information on the whole picture, and take you time to see it all from a bigger perspective. Are you really a victim where you stand now? And is it only females who are victims? Male victims of abuse, limitations and violence, are silenced by norms too.

We should all stand together social and liberated.

A free and happy woman, will be a good woman.

 

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