When you’r a kid, as well as growing up, we hear that we can be everything. Might be truth, but it doesn’t teach you to find your purpose, and that your purpose is more than jobs and education plus family life.
It took me a while to take the classes, with breaks in between trying out different educations and practices, before I finally got what constitute a student degree in Denmark where I live.
- Pedagogue (hated it)
- Radiographer (Radiologic technologist, loved it! – looking at peoples bones, brains, ect. and shit all day, in funny sometimes rough situations)
- Sign technician (was Ok)
- Poker dealer (Very stressful to me)
..before I tried
- Laboratory technician, since the average grades went up to get into the Radiographer education, so I had to pick something else, and in High School I did okay in chemestry class, and i had some Breaking Bad-kinda fantasies. But in laboratory class I found out for good, that math makes me craaazy and depressed (just like the life, ritalin and cocaine I was influenced by that time also) and that I’m very likely fucking blind to numbers, therefore I won’t be a real doctor either, but then I can be a dominatrix, and play doctor way more funny for fast cash when I want to.
I still don’t know where my path will take me, and it’s okay now, I chose to let go, and keep trying new things in life or quitting if my choices don’t serve me.
I’ve been diagnosed with ADHD, and when I was in my biggest crisis, I got diagnosed with a mixture of borderline traits, OCDP and depressive personality disorder. All that made me choose to be more picky and only accept what makes me happy even harder and aware. Life is to short to feel bad, life is as beautiful as it can be cruel. I refuse to become a victim of myself or others with all power I got to be the opposite. And I’ll always say; Better become master of that destiny of yours, and write your life into your own story, no matter how bad your past might be. My brain chemistry might always be a little fucked up, but I will turn it into superpowers and guidelines.
I never been normal, and I’ll never want to be normal. Whatever normal is, that’s not for me. My doctor suggested that I might got Asperger Syndrome too – might be right. But so what, so has Bill Gates, Marilyn Monroe and Albert Einstein. It only makes me capable of unfuckgiving out of the box thinking, when I accept myself with self-love. Hurray, for me.
I’ve kind of become me own nurse and whore. But as a dominatrix I personally don’t sell sex or entrance to my body openings, but I’ll sometimes help submissive men to get off, with plastic gloves on. That’s how doctor Kitty works. And she can choose and reject her clients herself. I save penis penetration for sports fucking/tender love-making with someone special. As a dominatrix I found out how easy it would be for me to put a condom on a cock, and work it cold and clinical as a nurse, seeing a penis as a meat tool wrapped in rubber to make more money (and as an actress acting make believe to men I would never feel). But I have chose to not do that. Penis-penetration by a man and fellatio is kind of the only “holy” thing I got left. But now I know why and how other kinds of sex workers/pornographic performers, can cut between feelings and professionalism, maybe for a while, maybe forever. You can read my mistress of pain “Menu Card” here: www.darkroomno1.com, where this nice clinical room is a part of the domicile, you can see in the pictures below, taken by the amazing soul and photographer Heidi Sinnet (https://www.stylize.dk/stylize/foto/).
Taking a break in Darkromm No. 1
Being a independent dominatrix, has kind of only just begun though. And sadly, these days studying Ancient Greek on The University Of Copenhagen, beside finding time to my creative projects, family and friends. I don’t have the time to do all the dominatrix work I would like to. Lack of time forces you to really prioritize and think about, what is most important for you to spend time on, and how to schedule your time right. Maybe therefor I love being addicted to keeping myself busy, with not so much time in my hands..
time is money, time is life,
don’t waste it –
Do what you love, do what thou wilt
Love is the law, love under will.
Set goals and reach them!